Surprisingly, it was neither. ”How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile. Intrigued, over the next sixty seconds people called out answers ranging from 8 oz. to 20oz.

Finally she announced, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, no problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have quite a sore arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case the weight is the same, but the longer I hold it the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all of the time, they become increasingly heavy until sooner or later we are unable to carry on.”

As with the glass of water, we have to lay down our burdens of stress and “rest” before picking them up again. Once refreshed, we are able to carry on a little longer and a little better.

Some of the mental and emotional parcels we all carry have a degree of constancy, and even necessity – professional and familial obligations, pressure from financial generation and management, the friction points between what we have and what we want or where we are and where we’d like to be. Though we’re best served to avoid becoming overwhelmed by these, they do have a purpose – they keep us on point and moving forward in our lives.

But then there are those items which we keep in our possession despite their lack of purpose. Anger and resentment are good examples. How long have you held onto negativity which originated from an interaction with a person or circumstance that was beyond your control? It could be a seemingly large package, like a pattern of unfulfilled needs originating in childhood, or something as small as someone cutting you in line. Time goes by and if we’re able to, we let go. But often, there is a residual effect that we carry much longer than necessary. Sometimes even years pass but the memory of a person or an event still creates ripples across our present emotional selves.

Remember this, forgiveness is not for the forgiven – it is for the one who forgives. Untie the yoke of these empty burdens and let them fall away. If someone takes your cab, don’t bring the frustration back to the office. And if you observe an ongoing unhealthy or negative pattern within a current relationship, perhaps it’s worth addressing and attempting a repair. But we need not be social hoarders, clinging to all of the ties we fasten. Life is organic and as we change and grow so may our social wardrobes. If it doesn’t fit anymore, don’t keep hanging it in your closet. We cannot fill that which is already full. Make some room and go find a few new items.

Choose wisely what you carry with you, in all aspects – physically, mentally, emotionally, socially – and make sure to carve out the time and space to place your burdens down. Replenish your resolve, regain your balance and perspective, and resume the journey with renewed vigor. It may not guarantee a faster arrival at your destination, but it will certainly make for a more pleasant trip!

Time moves fast; life moves fast. I have never heard a parent say that their child has grown slowly. It doesn’t matter if they are a month old, a year old, graduating from school, getting married or having children of their own, it’s always happening fast. Whether it’s a week’s vacation, a planned single day event like a wedding, four years of college or a lifetime, time is ahead of us, upon us and then leaves us – all in the blink of an eye.

Every day, every minute, every second is a chance to make a choice to do something different. We can’t sit around waiting for things to happen, wallowing in what we lack. We can’t fall victim to the belief that certain kinds of happiness are for other people. Seize the moment, fiercely. Grab life firmly and pursue that which you want. If there’s a bad habit that you want to put down, stop. If there is a hobby you have always wanted to try, start. Practice forgiveness and compassion, not only for others but for yourself. Our hearts are like our arms with bags of groceries – we can only hold so much. If you insist on carrying anger and resentment like spoiled milk, you can’t possibly have room to hold the fresh baked bread of joy and serenity. Let it all go and be grateful for the gifts you’ve been given.

Wake up. This moment is here now but it will soon be gone. Other than health, time is our greatest asset. Spend it wisely.

Wishing you a lifetime of shared, special moments – and the presence of mind to realize what you have.

With the new year fast approaching, and the lists of resolutions being calculated and solidified, an important distinction must be made. Anyone can want something, and we all do. Both tangible and intangible – from houses, cars, electronics, travel and a new wardrobe to love, joy, peace, satisfaction and general happiness, there are always things to want. But there is a reason why so many of those resolutions never come to fruition – passively wanting something rarely gets us there.

Nothing of any real, lasting value in this life comes without patience, a consistent and diligent effort and some form of sacrifice. Our resources of time and energy, no matter how much we can muster, are limited. There will always be only twenty four hours in the day. In addition, we are all creatures of habit. Whether it’s spent on work or play – at the office, on the court or on the couch, we are typically unlikely to relinquish our routines. It’s no wonder that to try and make change is so difficult. Without trading something for that which we want, the math simply doesn’t work.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. So ask yourself this, “Do I really want it? Or would it just be nice to have?” If you are tired of falling short, of saying you wish you had results, it’s time to actively and pro-actively attack the situation. You can’t just say that you’ll try to give it your all. You need to make a crucial trade. If you want to lose weight, change the quantities and substance of what you eat. If you want to quit smoking, don’t take that coffee break. And if you’re too busy, give up TV time, at least for a while.

You can really have that which you desire. But it’s time to convert the potential energy of wanting into kinetic action. Period. Now go get ‘em!

We all have a glass that has both water and air within it. And we all have the ability to perceive it as half full or half empty. Gratitude comes from the *choice* to focus on the water rather than the air – to see what is there, rather than what is not. While there will always be that which we lack, when we are aware of what we do have we appreciate it, and our perception in that moment becomes that of abundance.

It is of course possible to lose this appreciation in the moment that immediately follows. Living in that state of abundance is quite challenging. But just as two pieces of physical matter cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time, two emotional states cannot occupy the same heart and mind. So while life may challenge us to hold onto that good feeling, if we can get there – even for five minutes – we can at least temporarily enjoy the satisfaction from believing that we not only have enough, but that we have a lot.

Especially given the recent meteorologic events with hurricane Sandy, and all that has been lost and saved, I implore you to find the time to look around and appreciate all that you have. No matter how big or small your possessions are, if your life and health are among them, if for the most part your family and those close to you are alive and safe, you have enough to recognize that which you have.

Here’s wishing you a warm, safe and abundant holiday. I’m grateful for many things, including you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lest we forget, while home runs are nice, life is not about home runs. It’s about showing up, and making a patient and consistent effort. Whether it’s a professional accomplishment or a personal goal, whether it’s creating or improving a relationship with someone else or the one with yourself, nothing in this life of any real, lasting value will come without time, effort, patience and some form of sacrifice.

Today is one day. Show up and make it count.